BALANCE! That is all I have to really talk about today. Life seems to be all about finding the right balance between two things. I feel as if I am constantly struggling to do this in seemingly every area of my life.
These are the things that I am trying to balance right now in my life…
Getting more much needed sleep….Getting up early to do much needed exercise
Eating healthy….My attempt at only occasionally indulging my addiction to soft drinks
Cleaning during the kids' nap time….Enjoying "me" time while I am ALL alone for a few minutes
Working extra to pay off bills and pay for other luxuries we enjoy as a family….Having quality family time without some of those luxuries
Strategizing (or rather, stressing about) future plans for our family….Enjoying the time with my family right now in the moment
Trying to get my house organized….Going to visit special friends and family on my days off
Looking for a new job that I may enjoy more….Enjoying and embracing the fact that I have a GREAT job right now
Oh yeah, and this week, even trying to balance literally being a blonde from being a brunette! (I'm somewhere in the middle now, LOL!)
These are just a few of my little internal dilemmas that I can think of off the top of my head. I know all of these are things that I want. They are mostly really great things!!! However, in order to have the opposite, I must do the other only in moderation, or in some cases not at all. They all make me happy to some degree. But, the problem is I end up getting off balance and emphasizing one more than I should. I then find myself not being able to fully enjoy each one as it is because I am thinking about the other. I wish I had some wonderful words of wisdom about creating a perfect balancing act, but I don't. I just thought I would share what goes on in my head on a day to day basis.
What are you trying to balance in your life right now? How do you keep yourself on track?
Friday, February 17, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
What God Taught Me While Putting on My Make-up This Morning
Nearly every morning we all wake up about 7:00 or so. Well, I say that, but what I really mean is Lily wakes up, then wakes the rest of us up at 7:00 or so… Anyway, while Chris is getting ready for work, I take the kids downstairs and we eat breakfast and hang out awhile until Caleb is ready to take his morning nap. As soon as he goes down, I rush to jump in the shower and get myself and Lily ready for the day before he wakes up. Sometimes I get lucky and he takes a nice long nap and I have plenty of time to get things done. Sometimes, though he wakes up while I am still getting ready. I normally stop what I am doing and go straight to get him up because I don't like to hear him cry. The problem is that this normally doesn't really solve my problem because Caleb apparently is not too amused by sitting on the floor and watching me put on my make-up and dry my hair. Unimpressed by the little toys I hand him to play with, he usually continues to fuss and just wants me to pick him up and hold him.
So, this morning as soon as I finished in the shower I heard him fussing in his crib. I still had quite a bit left to do to finish getting ready including putting on my make-up, doing my hair, and getting dressed. I knew that it would take me twice as long to get those things done with him up and fussing on the floor. I would feel like I had to stop every other minute to make him happy. So, I made the decision to just let him stay in the crib and fuss until I was done. I knew that I would be able to accomplish my goal much more efficiently this way. So, as I was listening to him cry, my heart was breaking. I just hated it. But, I knew that even though he was crying, he really would be ok. I knew that these tears were temporary and I had to just let him cry so that my bigger goal could be accomplished. I knew he didn't understand that I was not just letting him cry for the heck of it, but I knew I needed to remain focused on my bigger goal. I still love him SO much and still heard every cry for help, even though I was letting him be sad for a few minutes. As I was thinking all of this, that is when I heard God talking to me. My eyes opened to the realization that sometimes God does the same exact thing with us as our Father, but in much bigger situations.
He also has an ultimate goal. He loves us SO much, but He knows that sometimes He just has to let us cry to Him while He is working on His bigger plans. He still hears our every cry and it breaks His heart. But, He knows we WILL be ok in the end. If He wants to accomplish His goal, sometimes He has to let us endure things are we just don't plain understand. In the end though, He will come to us, pick us up, wipe our tears away, and pour out more love than we could ever imagine!!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
As always, please share with others if you feel led to do so!
So, this morning as soon as I finished in the shower I heard him fussing in his crib. I still had quite a bit left to do to finish getting ready including putting on my make-up, doing my hair, and getting dressed. I knew that it would take me twice as long to get those things done with him up and fussing on the floor. I would feel like I had to stop every other minute to make him happy. So, I made the decision to just let him stay in the crib and fuss until I was done. I knew that I would be able to accomplish my goal much more efficiently this way. So, as I was listening to him cry, my heart was breaking. I just hated it. But, I knew that even though he was crying, he really would be ok. I knew that these tears were temporary and I had to just let him cry so that my bigger goal could be accomplished. I knew he didn't understand that I was not just letting him cry for the heck of it, but I knew I needed to remain focused on my bigger goal. I still love him SO much and still heard every cry for help, even though I was letting him be sad for a few minutes. As I was thinking all of this, that is when I heard God talking to me. My eyes opened to the realization that sometimes God does the same exact thing with us as our Father, but in much bigger situations.
He also has an ultimate goal. He loves us SO much, but He knows that sometimes He just has to let us cry to Him while He is working on His bigger plans. He still hears our every cry and it breaks His heart. But, He knows we WILL be ok in the end. If He wants to accomplish His goal, sometimes He has to let us endure things are we just don't plain understand. In the end though, He will come to us, pick us up, wipe our tears away, and pour out more love than we could ever imagine!!
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
As always, please share with others if you feel led to do so!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Words...
So, if you have known me for awhile, I hope that you have found me to be somewhat of a quiet person that tries not to say too much about anyone or anything. Probably not though…even though that has been my goal. I know there are many times that I have opened my mouth in the past and got caught up in the gossip that goes around, even though I know I shouldn't. Although I have dreadfully slipped up and have let hurtful words out of my mouth, I really do make an effort to embrace the old adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
Anyway, all of this remains true to how I feel when it comes to random gossip. As enticing as it is, I really don't want to get involved. However, as I am quickly approaching the BIG 3-0!!!, I have noticed that I am becoming much more opinionated on "worldly" issues and feel the need to talk, or in this case, write about them. The quiet, reserved, scared to hurt anyone's feelings part of me tells me just to keep my thoughts to myself and not express my true feelings. As I'm getting older, I am starting to see that some of these issues are really important and maybe my opinion on them does matter. If I am feeling so strongly about something, maybe I should remember that I am not only am I entitled to express it, but in some cases I am morally obligated to express it. I actually could play a role in helping others form an educated opinion on the issue as well. What is the point of being passionate about something if you can't share how you feel about it with others? When I started this blog, I hesitated. Why? Because I knew that those who actually took the time to read it (which I truly appreciate) would immediately form an opinion of me based on what I am writing about. I was willfully putting myself in a very vulnerable position. This is a new and sometimes very uncomfortable thing for me. I know that probably some people who might come across this may think I am crazy for feeling the way I do, saying what I am saying, and writing what I write.
With that said, I am now starting to realize that there are some things that I just need to say. I certainly don't want to offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings, and I truly hope that I never do. I pray that God will give me wisdom when it comes to choosing the words that come out of my mouth. However, I know I will sometimes say something that others will disagree with. Since I'm in the mood for old adages, I guess "That's what makes the world go 'round." If you are ever reading this and hold differing opinions with anything that I write about, please choose to have an open mind and at least hear me out! I will always welcome a nice, peaceful discussion about whatever the topic may be. I really am a very open-minded person. I know that I am not always right. You may actually be able to change my views on something as well :o) I have a feeling that I am going to start writing about more "controversial" issues, so stay tuned and keep your mind open!! Thanks for reading, hopefully the words I say will be worth it!
Anyway, all of this remains true to how I feel when it comes to random gossip. As enticing as it is, I really don't want to get involved. However, as I am quickly approaching the BIG 3-0!!!, I have noticed that I am becoming much more opinionated on "worldly" issues and feel the need to talk, or in this case, write about them. The quiet, reserved, scared to hurt anyone's feelings part of me tells me just to keep my thoughts to myself and not express my true feelings. As I'm getting older, I am starting to see that some of these issues are really important and maybe my opinion on them does matter. If I am feeling so strongly about something, maybe I should remember that I am not only am I entitled to express it, but in some cases I am morally obligated to express it. I actually could play a role in helping others form an educated opinion on the issue as well. What is the point of being passionate about something if you can't share how you feel about it with others? When I started this blog, I hesitated. Why? Because I knew that those who actually took the time to read it (which I truly appreciate) would immediately form an opinion of me based on what I am writing about. I was willfully putting myself in a very vulnerable position. This is a new and sometimes very uncomfortable thing for me. I know that probably some people who might come across this may think I am crazy for feeling the way I do, saying what I am saying, and writing what I write.
With that said, I am now starting to realize that there are some things that I just need to say. I certainly don't want to offend anyone or hurt anyone's feelings, and I truly hope that I never do. I pray that God will give me wisdom when it comes to choosing the words that come out of my mouth. However, I know I will sometimes say something that others will disagree with. Since I'm in the mood for old adages, I guess "That's what makes the world go 'round." If you are ever reading this and hold differing opinions with anything that I write about, please choose to have an open mind and at least hear me out! I will always welcome a nice, peaceful discussion about whatever the topic may be. I really am a very open-minded person. I know that I am not always right. You may actually be able to change my views on something as well :o) I have a feeling that I am going to start writing about more "controversial" issues, so stay tuned and keep your mind open!! Thanks for reading, hopefully the words I say will be worth it!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Love like Jesus
I recently posted this on Facebook, but thought I should post it on here as well. I know I need it as a constant reminder. As I've learned over the past two and a half years, raising babies is hard work! It takes lots of patience, smiles, hugs, and encouragement. You often have to provide all of these with little sleep, little "me" time, and a lot of times in the midst of chaos. Sometimes I feel like I say the word "NO" a million times in one day. This makes me sad and I try my best to find other ways to correct that are more encouraging. The days can be long, but I know the years are short. Time is flying by and I only hope and pray that I am able to teach my sweet babies what is really important in life- to love Jesus and to love others like Jesus does. I know the rest will fall into place if we do this. Of course, as I teach them, I must pray that God will continue to teach this to me daily as well.
As I go though each day, my beautiful, precious, smart, and loving two year old is always right by my side. I love having her follow me around, nudge me for my attention, and watch everything I do as she is learning about life. Her little personality brings entertainment to every situation. She brings more joy than I could have ever imagined to my life. Sometimes though, I can't help but think, "I love her so much, but she is driving me nuts!!!" Tonight as she was stomping on the pictures I was attempting to place in frames and pulling the wrapping paper across the kitchen floor, I started to lose my patience. I regret to say that I allow this to happen far too often. As I started to fuss at her, I heard God whisper to me one of my favorite Bible passages. This was read aloud at my wedding and I try to make sure I always remember it in my marriage. Now, I ask God to help me always keep these words very close to my heart as I try my best to show these precious little ones what love really is each day.
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
As I go though each day, my beautiful, precious, smart, and loving two year old is always right by my side. I love having her follow me around, nudge me for my attention, and watch everything I do as she is learning about life. Her little personality brings entertainment to every situation. She brings more joy than I could have ever imagined to my life. Sometimes though, I can't help but think, "I love her so much, but she is driving me nuts!!!" Tonight as she was stomping on the pictures I was attempting to place in frames and pulling the wrapping paper across the kitchen floor, I started to lose my patience. I regret to say that I allow this to happen far too often. As I started to fuss at her, I heard God whisper to me one of my favorite Bible passages. This was read aloud at my wedding and I try to make sure I always remember it in my marriage. Now, I ask God to help me always keep these words very close to my heart as I try my best to show these precious little ones what love really is each day.
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Booby Talk….The Good, Bad, Ugly…and Awesome about Breastfeeding
I've been thinking and debating for quite awhile about writing a post about something I am very passionate about. Breastfeeding! As it turns out, this topic can get people pretty stirred up. So, before I say anything else at all, I want you to know that by writing this post I am in NO WAY trying to make anyone feel bad or guilty for not breastfeeding your child. That would never, ever be my intention. My sole purpose of even writing this is to simply promote it to those that may be considering it in the future. I know that above all, it is most important that the baby is fed and gets the nutrients that they need. I know that babies who get formula usually turn out just fine. For what it is worth, I had formula after I was five months old and I like to think I turned out just fine, lol :o) My husband had formula his whole babyhood, as did majority of my other family members. So, this is definitely NOT a bash against formula. But, I also know that it is a fact that breast milk is better in many ways for both the baby and mother. So, I feel obligated to share my story and the information that I have learned since I first began to even consider my options for feeding my babies.
I remember the first time I ever even considered that there was a difference between formula and breast milk was when I was in nursing school. I was sitting in class and the topic of the day was about breastfeeding. Believe it or not, I think it was the first time I ever heard the words "Breast is best." I was definitely not in the know about these kinds of things since I had yet to even consider having my own children. I was actually almost offended that someone would say that. Nearly everyone I knew gave their babies formula and did so for good reasons. In most cases it was because they had to work and as far as I knew that was their only option. I remember thinking something like, "Who is actually able to stay with their baby ALL the time to feed him or her? Not that this would be bad, but really? In America? In the 21st century? Most women have to work outside of the the home and this would just be impossible…" But as I continued to listen, I was told all of the very valid reasons why breast really is best. So after I left class for the day, I did have a new perspective on breastfeeding. I thought it would be a good thing to do for a few weeks on maternity leave, but there is no way I could be able to do it for a WHOLE year! I knew I would one day be a working mama and there would be just no way.
So, fast forward five or six years. Chris and I decide that it's finally time! We want a baby! Six months later I was joining the June 2009 Birth Club on good old babycenter.com!!! Now, I am almost embarrassed by the vast amount of time I spent (and still spend) on this website. Amongst the drama that is sometimes found in this subculture of the internet, I have to say that my eyes were opened to a whole new world about all things baby. As I spent more and more time engulfed in the things people were writing about and asking questions about, I kept seeing more things about breastfeeding. I figured that it would be a good time to consider the option again. The more I read about breastfeeding, the more of a good idea it seemed. I thought, maybe I can do this! I learned all about breast pumps and the legal rights that women have to take breaks at work to use them! So when the time came for me to create my baby registry at Target, I took the plunge and put the Medela Breast Pump on there! Why was this such a big deal? Because they are not cheap! I think mine was almost $300! My mom thought I was crazy and asked how much I really planned on using something like that. When I told her for a year, she just laughed and said ok... Well, if you know me well, when someone thinks I won't be able to do something and lets me know it, it makes me want to do it really, really bad!!!
When Lily arrived I was all ready to breastfeed her! I thought… I guess I didn't read quite enough about how HARD it can be in the beginning!! I did however read (from apparently a not so credible source) that babies don't really need to eat right away. So, after she was born, I did not rush to try to nurse her. In fact, I let her get checked over, bathed, etc. Next thing you know it was time to move to the Mother Baby Unit. When we arrived there, I had to get assessed, Lily had to get assessed, the doctors came to see both of us, and I had lots of guests. These are all very nice and necessary things, but I did not know that waiting to feed my baby until after all of them happened would be setting me up for such a difficult road ahead. I had no idea what I was doing trying to feed her and Lily had no idea either. There were many nice nurses that worked with us for literally hours the day she was born, but we just weren't catching on… I remember thinking why did God let breastfeeding be so difficult? Isn't it supposed to come natural? It was anything but. I was worried her sugar would drop too low, so the night she was born I fed her a tiny bit of formula. We kept trying, she just couldn't latch. I pumped colostrum and gave it to her in a syringe. I was discouraged, but never gave up. Finally, the nurse gave us a nipple shield to try and she got it!!!! I thought we had hit the jackpot! We were set! We made it home and things were going pretty good. It was still taking her almost an hour to eat and that was every 2-3 hours… The nipple shield was annoying, but whatever, she was eating. That is what mattered most.
A few days after she was born, I decided to try out the breast pump. I pumped for the first time. It went pretty good. It took me about ten minutes to pump and then Chris got to feed her the bottle for the first time. And that little booger gobbled that bottle down in less than ten minutes!!! It took me a whole hour to feed her sometimes and she just ate that darn bottle in ten minutes!!!!! Again, if you know me well, I'm very into time management and this just wasn't cool. So, after a few days of pumping here and there, I decided I wanted to be an "exclusive pumper." I figured I could pump in ten minutes, feed her in ten minutes and be done! Now that is good time management. So I went to Best Start Parenting and bought everything I would need to do this for the year I was planning on doing it for. The nice lady there tried her best to talk me out of it, but I of course was not in the mood to listen. She encouraged me to keep trying to nurse, that it would work out! But, I had my mind set. So I went home and got started. I pumped every three hours for almost two weeks. After this "little" amount of time I was already fed up with it and ready to shoot myself. This sucked! Then, my good friend Elizabeth encouraged me to try again with the nursing. So I went to Target and bought another nipple shield. It worked, she nursed again! Now she was bigger and stronger and it was working. I was even able to wean her from the shield!
The story isn't over yet…. now without the shield, things got bad…ugly!! I won't go into too many details but just think these two words- cracked and bleeding. And the pain- I can honestly say it was worse then my pain med free labor and delivery. Luckily it was only for about twenty seconds every time she would start to eat. If you have ever tried to nurse and didn't have a baby with the right kind of latch you know what I mean. Well, after another few weeks of walking around topless and hoping that air and neosporin would heal me between the feedings, it happened- things started getting better!!! Finally!! I was nursing my baby when she was hungry- she was getting food and it didn't hurt me!!!! And, it was only taking her about 20 minutes to eat!!!
So, that was the beginning of fourteen beautiful months of nursing my baby girl. While beautiful, like I said, it was definitely not always smiles. The pumping at work and whenever I needed to be away from her during the day was not always fun. In fact, it did pretty much suck a lot of the time. But, in the end it was all worth it. Things also got rough when her top teeth came in- just use your imagination. But again, it all worked out. For awhile I was counting down until her first birthday so I could be done. I was so over it. The week of her birthday I began to wean her. Then the night before she turned one I turned into an anxious, emotional, ball of nerves. I really didn't know why at first. Then, I realized it was because our special bonding time was almost over. So, after all that I decided that we both weren't quite done yet. So for a couple more months I continued to nurse her.
It was quite a roller coaster ride that I know that some people can relate to. I wouldn't change it though. When Caleb was born, I never considered not nursing him. I educated myself on how to make it work easier so that I wouldn't go through what I went through in the beginning with Lily. I nursed him when he was only minutes old. He latched on right away and ate, and ate, and ate. He still eats a ton! I was sore with him also, but not as much, and it got better fast. Overall, it has been a breeze this time around.
So, I want to leave you with this. While breastfeeding is HARD work, it pays off in so many ways. Here are just a few of the many reasons that scientifically prove that "Breast is Best."
1. Most importantly- better for baby! Not only does it provide the perfect balance of nutrients, it provides very important immunities against many common childhood illnesses- GI bugs, ear infections, respiratory infections, etc. It decreases the chance of developing allergies, lowers risk of obesity and related diseases, and may lower the risk of SIDS. These are a few among the many advantages to the baby.
2. Decreases the mother's risk of breast and ovarian cancers, as well as the risk of postpartum depression. Also, another favorite reason for me is that it is a great way to lose that baby weight!! Breastfeeding burns about 500 extra calories a day!
3. It's FREE!!!! You will need to buy a pump and other supplies if you work, but it is still much cheaper than a year's worth of expensive formula!!!
4. The milk is with you wherever you go! No need for making bottles in the middle of the night, just pull out the boob and you are set. I admit nursing in public can be tricky and overwhelming at times, but there are ways to get around it if you are creative.
5. If you hate having your period, you probably won't get it back for at least several months, maybe not until you stop breastfeeding.
6. It makes for great birth control for at least the first six months, as long as you don't supplement.
If you do a google search you will find even more reasons. There really are a ton!
Thanks for reading my story. It is very personal, but I think it is important to share my struggles and triumphs so that it might help someone else decide that it is worth it. I would tell everyone to give it at least six weeks before giving up. I know that pointing out all the hard times might not help my intention to promote breastfeeding, but I did not want to make it seem like it is always easy. There are many resources out there to help as well. Lactation Consultants are great, I probably should have called one! I've heard tons of people say that it is hard, but not one that I can remember saying they regretted in the end.
I remember the first time I ever even considered that there was a difference between formula and breast milk was when I was in nursing school. I was sitting in class and the topic of the day was about breastfeeding. Believe it or not, I think it was the first time I ever heard the words "Breast is best." I was definitely not in the know about these kinds of things since I had yet to even consider having my own children. I was actually almost offended that someone would say that. Nearly everyone I knew gave their babies formula and did so for good reasons. In most cases it was because they had to work and as far as I knew that was their only option. I remember thinking something like, "Who is actually able to stay with their baby ALL the time to feed him or her? Not that this would be bad, but really? In America? In the 21st century? Most women have to work outside of the the home and this would just be impossible…" But as I continued to listen, I was told all of the very valid reasons why breast really is best. So after I left class for the day, I did have a new perspective on breastfeeding. I thought it would be a good thing to do for a few weeks on maternity leave, but there is no way I could be able to do it for a WHOLE year! I knew I would one day be a working mama and there would be just no way.
So, fast forward five or six years. Chris and I decide that it's finally time! We want a baby! Six months later I was joining the June 2009 Birth Club on good old babycenter.com!!! Now, I am almost embarrassed by the vast amount of time I spent (and still spend) on this website. Amongst the drama that is sometimes found in this subculture of the internet, I have to say that my eyes were opened to a whole new world about all things baby. As I spent more and more time engulfed in the things people were writing about and asking questions about, I kept seeing more things about breastfeeding. I figured that it would be a good time to consider the option again. The more I read about breastfeeding, the more of a good idea it seemed. I thought, maybe I can do this! I learned all about breast pumps and the legal rights that women have to take breaks at work to use them! So when the time came for me to create my baby registry at Target, I took the plunge and put the Medela Breast Pump on there! Why was this such a big deal? Because they are not cheap! I think mine was almost $300! My mom thought I was crazy and asked how much I really planned on using something like that. When I told her for a year, she just laughed and said ok... Well, if you know me well, when someone thinks I won't be able to do something and lets me know it, it makes me want to do it really, really bad!!!
When Lily arrived I was all ready to breastfeed her! I thought… I guess I didn't read quite enough about how HARD it can be in the beginning!! I did however read (from apparently a not so credible source) that babies don't really need to eat right away. So, after she was born, I did not rush to try to nurse her. In fact, I let her get checked over, bathed, etc. Next thing you know it was time to move to the Mother Baby Unit. When we arrived there, I had to get assessed, Lily had to get assessed, the doctors came to see both of us, and I had lots of guests. These are all very nice and necessary things, but I did not know that waiting to feed my baby until after all of them happened would be setting me up for such a difficult road ahead. I had no idea what I was doing trying to feed her and Lily had no idea either. There were many nice nurses that worked with us for literally hours the day she was born, but we just weren't catching on… I remember thinking why did God let breastfeeding be so difficult? Isn't it supposed to come natural? It was anything but. I was worried her sugar would drop too low, so the night she was born I fed her a tiny bit of formula. We kept trying, she just couldn't latch. I pumped colostrum and gave it to her in a syringe. I was discouraged, but never gave up. Finally, the nurse gave us a nipple shield to try and she got it!!!! I thought we had hit the jackpot! We were set! We made it home and things were going pretty good. It was still taking her almost an hour to eat and that was every 2-3 hours… The nipple shield was annoying, but whatever, she was eating. That is what mattered most.
A few days after she was born, I decided to try out the breast pump. I pumped for the first time. It went pretty good. It took me about ten minutes to pump and then Chris got to feed her the bottle for the first time. And that little booger gobbled that bottle down in less than ten minutes!!! It took me a whole hour to feed her sometimes and she just ate that darn bottle in ten minutes!!!!! Again, if you know me well, I'm very into time management and this just wasn't cool. So, after a few days of pumping here and there, I decided I wanted to be an "exclusive pumper." I figured I could pump in ten minutes, feed her in ten minutes and be done! Now that is good time management. So I went to Best Start Parenting and bought everything I would need to do this for the year I was planning on doing it for. The nice lady there tried her best to talk me out of it, but I of course was not in the mood to listen. She encouraged me to keep trying to nurse, that it would work out! But, I had my mind set. So I went home and got started. I pumped every three hours for almost two weeks. After this "little" amount of time I was already fed up with it and ready to shoot myself. This sucked! Then, my good friend Elizabeth encouraged me to try again with the nursing. So I went to Target and bought another nipple shield. It worked, she nursed again! Now she was bigger and stronger and it was working. I was even able to wean her from the shield!
The story isn't over yet…. now without the shield, things got bad…ugly!! I won't go into too many details but just think these two words- cracked and bleeding. And the pain- I can honestly say it was worse then my pain med free labor and delivery. Luckily it was only for about twenty seconds every time she would start to eat. If you have ever tried to nurse and didn't have a baby with the right kind of latch you know what I mean. Well, after another few weeks of walking around topless and hoping that air and neosporin would heal me between the feedings, it happened- things started getting better!!! Finally!! I was nursing my baby when she was hungry- she was getting food and it didn't hurt me!!!! And, it was only taking her about 20 minutes to eat!!!
So, that was the beginning of fourteen beautiful months of nursing my baby girl. While beautiful, like I said, it was definitely not always smiles. The pumping at work and whenever I needed to be away from her during the day was not always fun. In fact, it did pretty much suck a lot of the time. But, in the end it was all worth it. Things also got rough when her top teeth came in- just use your imagination. But again, it all worked out. For awhile I was counting down until her first birthday so I could be done. I was so over it. The week of her birthday I began to wean her. Then the night before she turned one I turned into an anxious, emotional, ball of nerves. I really didn't know why at first. Then, I realized it was because our special bonding time was almost over. So, after all that I decided that we both weren't quite done yet. So for a couple more months I continued to nurse her.
It was quite a roller coaster ride that I know that some people can relate to. I wouldn't change it though. When Caleb was born, I never considered not nursing him. I educated myself on how to make it work easier so that I wouldn't go through what I went through in the beginning with Lily. I nursed him when he was only minutes old. He latched on right away and ate, and ate, and ate. He still eats a ton! I was sore with him also, but not as much, and it got better fast. Overall, it has been a breeze this time around.
So, I want to leave you with this. While breastfeeding is HARD work, it pays off in so many ways. Here are just a few of the many reasons that scientifically prove that "Breast is Best."
1. Most importantly- better for baby! Not only does it provide the perfect balance of nutrients, it provides very important immunities against many common childhood illnesses- GI bugs, ear infections, respiratory infections, etc. It decreases the chance of developing allergies, lowers risk of obesity and related diseases, and may lower the risk of SIDS. These are a few among the many advantages to the baby.
2. Decreases the mother's risk of breast and ovarian cancers, as well as the risk of postpartum depression. Also, another favorite reason for me is that it is a great way to lose that baby weight!! Breastfeeding burns about 500 extra calories a day!
3. It's FREE!!!! You will need to buy a pump and other supplies if you work, but it is still much cheaper than a year's worth of expensive formula!!!
4. The milk is with you wherever you go! No need for making bottles in the middle of the night, just pull out the boob and you are set. I admit nursing in public can be tricky and overwhelming at times, but there are ways to get around it if you are creative.
5. If you hate having your period, you probably won't get it back for at least several months, maybe not until you stop breastfeeding.
6. It makes for great birth control for at least the first six months, as long as you don't supplement.
If you do a google search you will find even more reasons. There really are a ton!
Thanks for reading my story. It is very personal, but I think it is important to share my struggles and triumphs so that it might help someone else decide that it is worth it. I would tell everyone to give it at least six weeks before giving up. I know that pointing out all the hard times might not help my intention to promote breastfeeding, but I did not want to make it seem like it is always easy. There are many resources out there to help as well. Lactation Consultants are great, I probably should have called one! I've heard tons of people say that it is hard, but not one that I can remember saying they regretted in the end.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Nursing School Drop Out?!…..Yes, I almost was!
Recently, I had the rare opportunity to thank someone that played a rather large role in my decision to actually complete nursing school and become a nurse. It all came about thanks to Centra starting the new Living Well program and my blood pressure being a whopping 122/80 when I was seven months pregnant. Due to this sign that apparently my health was in imminent danger, I was forced to return for a follow up health screening after my sweet boy was born. The day of my appointment, I begrudgingly woke up early enough to go to the hospital, get my weight and blood pressure checked along with handing over a couple of tubes of blood and return home before Chris left for work. When I got there I was talking to the nice nurse practitioner (who for the record, also really didn't understand why I needed a follow up visit) about my life in general. We were talking about having small children and she asked me what my schedule is like. I told her that right now I am able to work part time in the evenings and some weekends. She seemed so excited for me that I am able to spend so much time with my children while they are so young. I told her how fortunate I am to be a nurse and have a flexible schedule. We glamoured over how wonderful it was for a few minutes and then preceded with my exam. As I was talking to her, I knew she looked familiar, but couldn't really place where I knew her from. On my way out the door, I caught a glance at her name tag. It said Cathy Kay. It dawned on me that she used to be a professor at Liberty in the nursing department when I first started out in school. Not only was she a professor, but she was my first college advisor! I was thinking that it is cool that she is doing this now and went on my way out the door to leave the hospital and go face the day.
On my way home, I started reminiscing about those days that seem so long ago and that lovely freshman year of college I trudged myself through. I got to thinking about the (I believe one and only) day I went in to see Mrs. Kay at the end of my first semester. It was time to get advice on my schedule for next semester. At the time, I had fought and kicked my way through Anatomy and Physiology I and had been warned at least 100 times by my scary professors and exhausted upperclassmen that it only gets worse. So I marched right in Mrs. Kay's office and proclaimed that I really didn't need advice on what classes to take to get into the nursing program because I was quitting. I told her I had come up with a plan to go to school to be a dental hygienist like my wonderful Aunt Mari-jo. I had my mind made up and I was not going to let anyone change it. The idea of being a dental hygienist had all A's in my book- good money, good hours, and I like teeth for the most part. I figured it would be perfect for me and I could learn everything I needed to know about the mouth, finish school in less time, and probably start off making better money. Well, Mrs. Kay just sat back and listened to my spill about my future plans and didn't say too much at first. I was thinking I won her over, maybe she wants to be a dental hygienist too!? Maybe we can go to school together?! Then she calmly told me my idea was good, but do I really want to go into something where I basically do one thing everyday for the rest of my life? She said she knew I didn't want to continue right now, but at least think about the TONS of options that come along with being a Registered Nurse, especially with my Bachelor's degree. She spit out a ton of options that probably included everything from being an ICU nurse to a home health nurse to a mental health nurse. I said thanks so much, but my mind was still made up.
So, I left that day and to be honest I do not know when I changed my mind back and decided to stick to nursing, but I do know for a fact that what she said that day really did have an impact on my decision to stick with it. Looking back now, I know that God was right there in that room telling her what to say to me.
So, as I was driving home that morning and remembering all this, it dawned on me that I just had a conversation with this same special lady about how wonderful my schedule is all because I'm a NURSE!!!!!!
Oh my! How God works in so many ways!! I was so excited and wanted to share this with her that I almost called her when I got home. I was afraid she would think I was completely crazy so I decided to wait until my next follow up visit (yes, I had to go back again to go over my new lab work….). So last week, I finally made it back to her office and after I received the great news that my health is good, I told her my story. Of course, this was over 10 years ago and she had no idea who I was (nor did I expect her to), but I could tell by the look on her face how much it meant to her that I came back to tell her how much she influenced my life! What a happy moment between two people who are basically strangers, but God brought together to celebrate how He is at work every day in our lives!!
I thank God so much for the many people in my life that have influenced me in so many ways- both in big and seemingly little ways. My family, my friends- thank you all so much for always supporting me in my sometimes crazy ideas. And Aunt Mari-jo- if you are reading this- thank you for always being there for me and for being an awesome dental hygienist!!! It takes special people to look inside other people's mouths all day long and keep their teeth nice and clean. Although, I still think it would be cool to be a dental hygienist, I guess God knew that I would be happier doing the nursing thing.
What kind of cool stuff has God done in your life like this?! Leave me a comment and tell me all about it!
On my way home, I started reminiscing about those days that seem so long ago and that lovely freshman year of college I trudged myself through. I got to thinking about the (I believe one and only) day I went in to see Mrs. Kay at the end of my first semester. It was time to get advice on my schedule for next semester. At the time, I had fought and kicked my way through Anatomy and Physiology I and had been warned at least 100 times by my scary professors and exhausted upperclassmen that it only gets worse. So I marched right in Mrs. Kay's office and proclaimed that I really didn't need advice on what classes to take to get into the nursing program because I was quitting. I told her I had come up with a plan to go to school to be a dental hygienist like my wonderful Aunt Mari-jo. I had my mind made up and I was not going to let anyone change it. The idea of being a dental hygienist had all A's in my book- good money, good hours, and I like teeth for the most part. I figured it would be perfect for me and I could learn everything I needed to know about the mouth, finish school in less time, and probably start off making better money. Well, Mrs. Kay just sat back and listened to my spill about my future plans and didn't say too much at first. I was thinking I won her over, maybe she wants to be a dental hygienist too!? Maybe we can go to school together?! Then she calmly told me my idea was good, but do I really want to go into something where I basically do one thing everyday for the rest of my life? She said she knew I didn't want to continue right now, but at least think about the TONS of options that come along with being a Registered Nurse, especially with my Bachelor's degree. She spit out a ton of options that probably included everything from being an ICU nurse to a home health nurse to a mental health nurse. I said thanks so much, but my mind was still made up.
So, I left that day and to be honest I do not know when I changed my mind back and decided to stick to nursing, but I do know for a fact that what she said that day really did have an impact on my decision to stick with it. Looking back now, I know that God was right there in that room telling her what to say to me.
So, as I was driving home that morning and remembering all this, it dawned on me that I just had a conversation with this same special lady about how wonderful my schedule is all because I'm a NURSE!!!!!!
Oh my! How God works in so many ways!! I was so excited and wanted to share this with her that I almost called her when I got home. I was afraid she would think I was completely crazy so I decided to wait until my next follow up visit (yes, I had to go back again to go over my new lab work….). So last week, I finally made it back to her office and after I received the great news that my health is good, I told her my story. Of course, this was over 10 years ago and she had no idea who I was (nor did I expect her to), but I could tell by the look on her face how much it meant to her that I came back to tell her how much she influenced my life! What a happy moment between two people who are basically strangers, but God brought together to celebrate how He is at work every day in our lives!!
I thank God so much for the many people in my life that have influenced me in so many ways- both in big and seemingly little ways. My family, my friends- thank you all so much for always supporting me in my sometimes crazy ideas. And Aunt Mari-jo- if you are reading this- thank you for always being there for me and for being an awesome dental hygienist!!! It takes special people to look inside other people's mouths all day long and keep their teeth nice and clean. Although, I still think it would be cool to be a dental hygienist, I guess God knew that I would be happier doing the nursing thing.
What kind of cool stuff has God done in your life like this?! Leave me a comment and tell me all about it!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Goals for my Home Sweet Home
Household Goals
1. Work extra to pay for my cleaning lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, that is right! I just rehired my cleaning lady!!! I'm so excited I just don't even know how to express it. The back story to this is that back a couple of years ago when Lily was starting to be mobile, I started finding it very difficult to clean up the house (the way I like it) without there being 15 more messes made in the process by my sweet girl. Can anyone relate?! I'm sure I'm not the only one with little ones that feels like this. So, I got to talking to one of my great friends at work and she told me she had someone come clean her house and she (at that time) didn't even have any kids! So, it got me thinking how lovely this idea seemed. I could pay someone to come in and do what I really don't want to do, take my sweet girl out for a fun morning and come home to a spectacularly clean house!! But there were just a couple of problems with this idea. First and foremost the money…. well this ended up not being too much of an issue at the time since I was fortunate enough to talk to my friend's cleaning lady and she offered what I think was a reasonable price for the job. I am also fortunate enough to have a job that pays decent and allows me to work (for the most part) as much or as little as I want. I decided I would just work extra to pay for this solution to a big stress in my life. So that problem was solved, the next problem- I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I was such a poor wife, mother, and homemaker that I was having trouble getting it all done and that I wanted to hire someone to do it for me!! Yikes! What was I thinking? Well, even though this was an issue, I got over it enough to go ahead and hire her! Although, I told very few people about my big secret. So, for 9 blissful months, I did not have to deep clean my house!! Yes, I was still embarrassed to a point. I hoped my neighbors didn't see her come- what would they think?! But, it was still so wonderful I didn't let it get to me too much.
Then things changed about about a year ago when I received the news that my wonderful full time pay for the part time work I did (from agreeing to work EVERY weekend) was going to be taken away. I knew for sure that my cleaning lady luxury would have to be the first to go. If I was working extra, it would have to go towards things that were more of a necessity. So I began cleaning my own home again, and I guess I was in the nesting phase of being pregnant because I was actually enjoying it... for awhile. Fast forward to now. I still have my sweet girl making at least 50 messes a day and now Caleb will be on the move very soon. I am still just finding it very difficult to enjoy my time home in the mornings with my babies. All I can think about is trying to strategize which toilet to scrub during Caleb's little naps while trying to fit in a little quality one on one time with Lily in between those oh so necessary, yet inconvenient jobs. So now, with the full support of my husband, I have decided to welcome Renee back into our lives with wide open arms. The way I justify this is that I can work one extra eight hour shift a month and make enough money to pay for her to clean and pay a babysitter to watch the kids while I am there. Win-win for me since I won't have to be stressed all the time about cleaning, win-win for the kids because they enjoy having someone different to play with every now and then. Most importantly, I will be able to give them more attention while I am at home. Lastly, win-win for Chris because he doesn't have to hear me fuss about a dirty house all the time and it takes the pressure off of him to help me do stuff around the house after he has worked all day. Not to mention it kind of helps the economy a little by providing a job for someone and my unit/patients at work by working when there is a need!
2. Now that I don't have to worry about deep cleaning, I can hopefully start working on other things that have been put off because I just didn't have enough time to get it all done. So my next goal is to spend at least 30 minutes a day doing something that will keep the house in order- this may include just simply picking up or beginning to tackle the list of projects that I want to complete. I look forward to being able to clean out some closets, drawers, and maybe even my kitchen cabinets!
3. Laundry, laundry, laundry, and more laundry. It seems to never end now that we are a family of four. My goal with this is to do one load of laundry from start to finish on each of my days off (usually four a week). This should keep it under control. I can always do an extra load on one the days that I work if I need to. The key to this goal is completing it to the finish. I am really good at washing, then drying, the most of the time folding. The big problem comes when I stop and just don't take the extra five minutes to actually put everything away. This big problem I have drives me nuts, but I have never really gotten much better at it.
So, these are my goals to keep my house clean and in order. What are yours?? Please share!
1. Work extra to pay for my cleaning lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, that is right! I just rehired my cleaning lady!!! I'm so excited I just don't even know how to express it. The back story to this is that back a couple of years ago when Lily was starting to be mobile, I started finding it very difficult to clean up the house (the way I like it) without there being 15 more messes made in the process by my sweet girl. Can anyone relate?! I'm sure I'm not the only one with little ones that feels like this. So, I got to talking to one of my great friends at work and she told me she had someone come clean her house and she (at that time) didn't even have any kids! So, it got me thinking how lovely this idea seemed. I could pay someone to come in and do what I really don't want to do, take my sweet girl out for a fun morning and come home to a spectacularly clean house!! But there were just a couple of problems with this idea. First and foremost the money…. well this ended up not being too much of an issue at the time since I was fortunate enough to talk to my friend's cleaning lady and she offered what I think was a reasonable price for the job. I am also fortunate enough to have a job that pays decent and allows me to work (for the most part) as much or as little as I want. I decided I would just work extra to pay for this solution to a big stress in my life. So that problem was solved, the next problem- I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that I was such a poor wife, mother, and homemaker that I was having trouble getting it all done and that I wanted to hire someone to do it for me!! Yikes! What was I thinking? Well, even though this was an issue, I got over it enough to go ahead and hire her! Although, I told very few people about my big secret. So, for 9 blissful months, I did not have to deep clean my house!! Yes, I was still embarrassed to a point. I hoped my neighbors didn't see her come- what would they think?! But, it was still so wonderful I didn't let it get to me too much.
Then things changed about about a year ago when I received the news that my wonderful full time pay for the part time work I did (from agreeing to work EVERY weekend) was going to be taken away. I knew for sure that my cleaning lady luxury would have to be the first to go. If I was working extra, it would have to go towards things that were more of a necessity. So I began cleaning my own home again, and I guess I was in the nesting phase of being pregnant because I was actually enjoying it... for awhile. Fast forward to now. I still have my sweet girl making at least 50 messes a day and now Caleb will be on the move very soon. I am still just finding it very difficult to enjoy my time home in the mornings with my babies. All I can think about is trying to strategize which toilet to scrub during Caleb's little naps while trying to fit in a little quality one on one time with Lily in between those oh so necessary, yet inconvenient jobs. So now, with the full support of my husband, I have decided to welcome Renee back into our lives with wide open arms. The way I justify this is that I can work one extra eight hour shift a month and make enough money to pay for her to clean and pay a babysitter to watch the kids while I am there. Win-win for me since I won't have to be stressed all the time about cleaning, win-win for the kids because they enjoy having someone different to play with every now and then. Most importantly, I will be able to give them more attention while I am at home. Lastly, win-win for Chris because he doesn't have to hear me fuss about a dirty house all the time and it takes the pressure off of him to help me do stuff around the house after he has worked all day. Not to mention it kind of helps the economy a little by providing a job for someone and my unit/patients at work by working when there is a need!
2. Now that I don't have to worry about deep cleaning, I can hopefully start working on other things that have been put off because I just didn't have enough time to get it all done. So my next goal is to spend at least 30 minutes a day doing something that will keep the house in order- this may include just simply picking up or beginning to tackle the list of projects that I want to complete. I look forward to being able to clean out some closets, drawers, and maybe even my kitchen cabinets!
3. Laundry, laundry, laundry, and more laundry. It seems to never end now that we are a family of four. My goal with this is to do one load of laundry from start to finish on each of my days off (usually four a week). This should keep it under control. I can always do an extra load on one the days that I work if I need to. The key to this goal is completing it to the finish. I am really good at washing, then drying, the most of the time folding. The big problem comes when I stop and just don't take the extra five minutes to actually put everything away. This big problem I have drives me nuts, but I have never really gotten much better at it.
So, these are my goals to keep my house clean and in order. What are yours?? Please share!
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